


Yuletide Carols and Chaos

by piraterea (orphan_account)



Series: Clarke x Murphy [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Chaos, Christmas, Delinquents Christmas, F/M, Minor Angst, Minor Costia/Lexa (The 100), One Shot, Post-Break Up, Sassy John Murphy (The 100), clarphy - Freeform, lots and lots of chaos, no beta we die like bellamy blake, too soon?, we actually talk about our feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:47:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28433382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/piraterea
Summary: Christmas was never a “family” event for most of the delinquents. Most of their family were either dead, abandoned them, or no longer in contact. So, they created the tradition of having a friends Christmas. They would all get together on Christmas Eve and just hang out. Then they would all stay over and do a present trade the next morning. Accompanied by plenty of alcohol.The entire schedule for the weekend was always to chill and relax. Bellamy and Raven would argue over the which marshmallows to put in the hot chocolate, big or small, Jasper and Monty would get high while watching A Christmas Story, and Clarke and Murphy would always be attached to one another at the hip. That’s just how it was.But it all changed this year. It all started when Murphy and Clarke broke up two months before.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/John Murphy, Minor Bellamy Blake/Raven Reyes - Relationship
Series: Clarke x Murphy [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2001889
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Yuletide Carols and Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm a little late to the Christmas fanfic party, but New Years isn't here yet, so I said what the hell. I can get it in anyways.

Christmas was never a “family” event for most of the delinquents. Most of their family were either dead, abandoned them, or no longer in contact. So, they created the tradition of having a friends Christmas. They would all get together on Christmas Eve and just hang out. Then they would all stay over and do a present trade the next morning. Accompanied by plenty of alcohol. That was Jasper and Raven’s favorite part.

They were lucky Murphy could cook, and teach them as well, or they would be doomed. Food was a vital role in their friends Christmas. But the entire schedule for the weekend was always to chill and relax. Bellamy and Raven would argue over the which marshmallows to put in the hot chocolate, big or small, Jasper and Monty would get high while watching A Christmas Story, and Clarke and Murphy would always be attached to one another at the hip. That’s just how it was. But it all changed this year. It all started when Murphy and Clarke broke up two months before.

The two fought a lot, but it was never like how there last one was. It was something that was small but grew into something too big to contain. They cursed one another, they yelled and eventually it just ended. Everything just ended like that. And they haven’t spoken or seen each other once. A couple weeks later, everyone had concluded that it was a lost hope to try and get them to make up. They wouldn’t be close enough to one another to even meet eyes. When Christmas came along, they were set for chaos. But they were the delinquents, they practically invented chaos. So, they were ready for it. Right?

Almost everyone was already at Bellamy and Raven’s apartment, excluding Clarke, Murphy and Emori, and Octavia and Lincoln. They had Christmas at their apartment because Bellamy was known for having the best TV and he had a large backyard they could easily run around in, which was useful for the many games to come.

Raven was sitting on the kitchen counter, sharing a can of whipped cream with Jasper. She takes a spray and hands it over to him. “So, are Clarke and Murphy both coming?” he asks through a mouthful of whipped cream and she wrinkles her nose in disgust as some comes dribbling out of his mouth.

  
“From what I’ve heard, yeah. It is going to be Keeping Up with the Kardashian’s worthy chaos.” She laughs and he chuckles. In the time, it takes them both to take another spray, Bellamy comes in and takes it from them.

“Guys, please don’t destroy your health streak with _whipped cream_ ” he mutters and Raven smirks. “Please, it’s whipped cream. Practically invented for cheat days. Besides we have nothing better to do while we wait for all these late bastards” Jasper teases and just as he finishes the door slams shut.

“Speak of the devil!” Raven shouts and jumps off the counter. She runs through the corner and Bellamy hears yelling. He goes around and smiles when he sees Raven tackling Clarke in a hug. Clarke was hugging her back just as roughly and was holding a stack of presents in a single hand. She hands them to Bellamy and he nods, taking it into the living room where the small tree they all shared was occupied.

“How have you been, Griffin? I feel like I only see you when I have to come see you all alone” Raven mutters and Clarke shakes her head. “I’m fine, Raven, really. I brought Lexa with me, I hope that’s fine” she says and Raven turns to see Clarke’s friend from work standing beside her. “Hey, I hope I’m not intruding” she says and Raven shakes her head.

“Not at all. You’re fine. Come on in” Raven says and Lexa smiles softly. Raven pulls away from Clarke and smiles. “Come on, we’re now only missing Murphy, Lincoln and Octavia” she says and right on time, Octavia and Lincoln come in. Octavia was already squealing loudly and running into Raven and Clarke’s arms, Lincoln was coming in and talking to Miller and Bellamy. He was holding presents and a bottle of vodka in his hands. He goes with them into the living room to put it down with the rest of the already wrapped presents.

“So, what’s new? I haven’t seen you, Clarke, in forever!” Octavia scolds and Clarke shakes her head again. “I’m fine. I’ve just been swamped with work lately before break. So, I’ve teamed up with Lexa so we could get our work done in half the time” she says, pointing to Lexa beside her, who just shrugs.

“She’s being dramatic. It wasn’t a lot, we were just stalling on getting it done” she says and Clarke smirks. “That too” she laughs. Raven and Octavia nod warily, unsure of what this new addition will do to the still absent party member. They could tell Clarke still had feelings for Murphy, feelings like they had didn’t just disappear. When they had told the group they were dating, they were both surprised and at the same time, not shocked at all. The two’s love for one another was evident and they knew it would be strong once they got over themselves and admitted it. And they were, they were practically inseparable everywhere. Clarke and Murphy were just _that_ couple, they never tried to hide how they felt about one another.

Murphy shares an apartment with Miller and Clarke lives on her own across town, but Octavia and Lincoln are a few doors down from hers. There group spent the majority at one or the other’s place, never at the same. But wherever one was, you could always depend on the other being nearby.

Octavia and Clarke go into the living room while Lexa goes with Raven into the kitchen. Lexa had spent time with the group plenty of times and she was found cool. She was the good kind of chill that was easy to hang out with. But as work assignments grew and then the Clarke and Murphy fiasco happened, the two seemed to disappear a lot.

“So, no bs answer, how has Clarke been?” Raven asks, knowing Lexa has spent the majority of her time with her lately due to work. Lexa sighs and looks over at Clarke’s form facing away from them and at the screen. The Grinch had just started and Clarke and Octavia were teasing Jasper about thinking the Grinch was scary. “No, think about it! He is literally a Christmas Shrek who comes and steals everything!” He yells and Clarke and Octavia fall onto each other in laughter.

“She’s doing good, I think. She throws herself into her work a lot, which is expecting from someone like Clarke. But she refuses to actually talk about anything, just her work” Lexa says and Raven sighs, “Yeah, I assumed so”.

Another ten minutes goes on before the doors slams open and a loud greeting going along the lines of, “HO HO, MOTHERFUCKERS!” echoes through the house. Raven sighs already knowing who it was, and sees Clarke flinch, then pretend she didn’t through the large opening between the kitchen and living room. She mutters a curse and goes to the entry hall by the door. Murphy was standing in the doorway, powdered hot chocolate in hand and Emori smirking, both Murphy and Emori’s presents in her arms, and rolling her eyes beside him.

“Nice to see you too, Murphy. You can put the hot chocolate in the kitchen” Raven says and he does a ridged salute with his empty hand and marches into the kitchen. She snorts with laughter and turns to Emori.

“Hey, how’ve you been. I feel like I haven’t seen any of you in forever” Raven says and Emori understands what she is subtly asking her. She shakes her head. “He’s been miserable. It took me a solid three days to convince him to come to this” she summarizes and Raven nods.

Murphy walks into the kitchen and sees Bellamy sharing a bottle of moonshine with Miller. “Hey Blake, how you been?” Murphy asks, setting the box on the island in the middle of the room. Bellamy raises an eyebrow at him. Murphy smirks and turns away from him as he talks. “I’m good, school is crazy right now but…” he continues talking but Murphy drowns it out as he sees Clarke. She was laughing and talking to Octavia and Jasper, but he could see the tension in her back. He could only assume it was from him. He gulps nervously as he looks at her and turns quickly away. “… so, what about you?” Bellamy finishes and Murphy clears his throat.

“I’ve been good, you know life”. Bellamy laughs and nods. They continue talking but the conversation dies when Lexa walks into the kitchen. Murphy frowns slightly, as Lexa was friends with most of the group but she never came to their Christmas. Bellamy smirks humorously as he watches Murphy take in Lexa. “Clarke invited her” he says and watches his frown deepen.

Bellamy rolls his eyes and pats Murphy’s shoulder before turning back to Miller. Murphy, however, wasn’t sure how to process the information he had been given. Lexa and Clarke were now friends and work partners, but about 3 years ago they were dating. It didn’t last very long, a mild fling you could call it, but they were committed to that fling. When they had broken up, Clarke had been devastated. She never left home and only when Murphy coaxed her out with the promise of alcohol would she go anywhere.

When the two went back to friendship was a blurred line. On day, Clarke just showed up to one of Lexa’s soccer games and the rest was history. So, seeing Lexa here made him take a small step back and study the room. A small twisting feeling settled in his gut, and he refused to call it for what it was. Jealousy.

“You doing ok, John?” Emori asks as she comes into the kitchen, hands free of presents. He nods and turns his eyes away from the living room. “I’m fine. Just thinking very deeply” he mutters and beckons for the alcohol in Miller’s hands. Miller hands it over without question and Murphy takes a long swig.

“Yeah. You sure look it. We’re watching The Grinch. Want to come watch?” she asks. He nods and treads into the living room, looking everywhere but at Clarke. She was currently sitting with Octavia and Jasper. Jasper was sharing a joint with Clarke on the arm of one of Bellamy’s couches. She was avoiding his eyes as well. To anyone else, she would look like she didn’t even know he walked in the room. But he knew her better. He saw the way her shoulders stiffened and her eyes narrowed slightly, focusing intensely on her side of the room.

Murphy sits on the floor, leaning his head against the couch legs. Emori sat on the couch above him and starts chatting with Raven. He does well for a while with focusing on the movie, but it wasn’t until Lexa walked back into the room that his vision strayed slightly. She walked over to Clarke and Jasper, who offered her a hit. She declined and Clarke smiled. His gut turned inside out at that. She _fucking_ smiled. There wasn’t even anything funny about it. He could think of a million things funnier than denying a blunt.

Lexa sits on the arm of the chair next to Clarke and Murphy tries to ignore how close they sit together. “You are so fucking stupid” Emori mutters and Murphy glares up at her. “What?”.

She just shakes her head, “Nothing. Nothing”. He wanted to ignore the comment. It was stupid. The entire thing was just stupid.

When the movie ended, they went into the backyard for drinks. It was only around 4 in the afternoon and they had plenty of time before they had to anything. So that was their solution. To drink.

Clarke sits on Raven’s lap as she accepts a drink from Bellamy. “How you doing, lady love?” Raven asks Clarke and she rolls her eyes. “I am just doing holly jolly as fuck. What about you?”.

Raven shrugs and accepts the drink gladly as Bellamy hands it to her. “Eh, same panic, different disco” she says nonchalantly. Clarke holds her drink out to her in salute and agreement.

“It’s Christmas Eve. This year has flown by” Octavia says. They all take a swig from their drink at those words. An entire year has gone past them. Clarke didn’t want to think about what her year had consisted of. She glances over at Murphy and finds him looking at her as well. They share a lingering stare that neither attempt to break. He seemed to be trying to crack her skull open and see what she was hiding beneath. But she wouldn’t give.

She barely registers Octavia standing, but Clarke is snapped back to reality when she pulls her up. “Come on, me, Raven, Jasper, and you are going to spread the reindeer food” Octavia urges. Clarke tries not to frown. “We’re doing that this year?” she asks. To be honest it was a tradition she, Bellamy, Octavia, and Miller had since they were kids. Back when they believed in Santa Claus, they would go out and spread food for the reindeers. It mostly consisted of oats, tiny marshmallows, sprinkles, and lots of glitter. It was always go big or go home on the glitter. Obviously, they went big.

“Of course, we are, dummy! Now come on!” Jasper says and he pulls her back into the house to make the concoction. Clarke manages to pull Raven along as she is practically dragged inside.

  
“You remember how to make this?” Raven asks. Clarke scoffs, “Of course I do. We used to do it every year, remember Octavia?” she asks and Octavia nods as she grabs the glitter from the junk drawer.

  
“And we’re going big again” Jasper says, gaping in awe at the huge jar of glitter sitting before them. “Yup”.

They make the reindeer food and not a single one of them make it through without ending up covered in glitter. They close up their Ziploc bags and take a single look at one another before breaking out in laughter. “Clarke, you look like that glittery troll from the Trolls movie!” Jasper gasps. Clarke rolls her eyes, “Ok, Akiko Glitter!” she retorts, referencing the movie they had watched a few weeks ago about the talking emoji’s.

“Yeah, we get it. We all look like something that came out of Edward Cullen on a sunshiney day. Let’s get outside!” Octavia shouts and they all pick up their bags. They start to head outside, but Clarke stops.

“Hang on, let me set my phone down!” she shouts to them. They nod and go outside without her. She sets her phone on the counter. Right before she walks out of the room, it dings. She frowns and picks it up, to see a text from Lexa.

She glances at the screen door blocking the backyard from inside and sees Lexa smiling. She reads the text and smiles as well.

_“So, I feel the need to ask questions because you currently look like you were tortured with arts and crafts.”_

Clarke laughs and looks to Lexa. She was looking at her as well. Clarke just shrugs and types a response.

_“Trust the process”_

She watches Lexa laugh as well. She smiles again before setting her phone down and running to catch up with the group outside.

~

Murphy was just trying to enjoy his beer. The weather was cold, but not the terrible kind. Just a small chill. He was currently in a good mood. Something had happened between him and Clarke, which was honestly a better sign than when she was straight up ignoring him. But then he looked through the screen door and saw Clarke. It wasn’t _her_ that bothered him. She was covered in glitter from head to toe, but that was normal for Clarke. Every Christmas that happened. What bothered him was the smile she had when she was looking at something on her phone.

It was easy to connect the dots, Lexa had texted her. He could tell by the smiles and slight laugh that Lexa passed when she got a response. By then Clarke was gone, but it still hit Murphy right in the gut. What annoyed him the most was, he knew that Clarke and Lexa weren’t going to get back together again. She had told him so many times before their break up. It was the “I want to be there” jealousy. He wanted to be the one making her laugh or sharing a joint with her. And he couldn’t anymore. It had nothing to do with being jealous of Clarke. He was jealous of Lexa.

“So, when does The Christmas Story come on again?” Miller asks and Bellamy shrugs. “I think at 6” he sighs, taking a sip of his beer. Lexa and Emori walk into the house to get a sandwich. They would have their yearly tradition of getting Popeye’s for Christmas Eve dinner later, but right then they wanted a sandwich.

“Now that they are gone, dude. What the hell is going on between you and Clarke?” Miller asks. Murphy snaps up in shock. He was _not_ expecting that change in subject. “What the hell are you talking about?” he mutters, taking another long drink. He mentally decided that he was too sober for this conversation.

“Please. Everyone saw that weird staring thing. You two have more sexual tension than a 200K Slow Burn about 30 chapters in.” Miller retorts. All eyes turn to him now, in confusion. He just shrugs and takes a drink smugly.

“Please. I know you all do it too” he mutters and everyone looks away.

“Nothing is going on. Sharing a look doesn’t mean everything is magically resolved” Murphy argues. “Yeah, that’s something you have to do. She’s not going to try and fix it on her own” Monty says.

“Look, she doesn’t want to fix it. I don’t want to fix it. No problems. End of conversation” he mutters and takes another drink.

On the other side of the house, the other group of delinquents were spreading the reindeer food all over the lawn. Jasper was spinning around in circles in the snow, taking long jumps through them. Clarke and Octavia were at the front of the yard, sprinkling some on the bushes.

“So, Clarke. What was that look you and Murphy had?” Octavia asks. Clarke rolls her eyes but she wasn’t that surprised. She knew it was coming eventually.

  
“It was nothing, O. We just happened to look the same way at the same time” she mutters, throwing some out into the yard. “Yeah, at each other! You two can’t ignore one another even broken up.” She says back, grabbing a ball of snow and throwing it at Jasper. A high-pitched squeal comes from Jasper and they all laugh.

“It is nothing, really. He doesn’t want to get together and I don’t either. No more talking” she says and Octavia smirks. “Ok then”.

Clarke picks up some snow and tosses it at Octavia. She lets out a gasp, “Griffin! You heartless bitch!” she laughs and goes to pick some snow up. Clarke smirks and starts to run.

“Great. Glitter _and_ snow. What next, vodka?” Raven mutters as she gathers snow. “I’d be down with that!” Jasper yells but squeals again as a chunk of snow hits him in the back.

“Raven!” he yells as she laughs. “Sorry, Jasper!” she yells, only to throw another at him. Everyone starts blundering Jasper with snowballs as he gasps and tries to swat them away. “Parlay! Parley!” he shouts but they don’t stop.

“Have mercy on the man!” Bellamy shouts and they all turn to see the boys standing by the door, watching them attack Jasper. Clarke smiles as she watches Raven subtly form a large snowball. “It’s just snow and glitter. Easy to clean” she smirks. Her eyes flit over to Murphy and she sees he had glanced at her as well. This time, she doesn’t try to linger. She quickly looks away.

A loud shriek comes from Bellamy. “Holy shit, Raven! That’s cold!” he yells and Clarke falls onto Octavia in laughter. They both fall onto the snowy ground and Clarke winces at the cold. “It’s freezing out here” she mutters.

“Yeah, but I really don’t want to get up” Octavia whispers. Miller and Raven walk up to the two of them lying on the floor.

“What are you two up to?” Raven mutters and Clarke does her best to shrug. “Freezing to death.” Octavia groans as Raven and Miller grab her hands to pull her up to her feet. They go to Clarke and she pulls herself up gratefully. “Thank you” she mutters and Miller nods.

“What do you want to do now?” Octavia’s teeth chattered in the cold, her body shining with glitter and snow.

“I want to get nice and warm” Clarke laughs and they all go inside.

“What time is it? Monty asks and Lincoln checks his watch. “5:15 on the dot” he says. Octavia and Clarke go to grab their bags before running up with Raven to her room. “I’m using the bathroom first” Octavia says and runs in before anyone could protest. Clarke scoffs and digs through her bag for a pair of clean clothes.

“So, are we going light gazing tonight?” Raven asks and Clarke sighs. “I sure hope so. That’s probably my favorite part. That and getting drunk the night before” she sighs. Raven laughs slightly.

“Yeah, that’s definitely a plus. So, where’s Lexa?” Raven asks and Clarke shrugs. “I think she said she was going to make a sandwich. I’m probably going to get one as well before we go for dinner” Clarke says as she pulls on a black sweater.

“I’m going to head downstairs. I’ll see you when you get down” she says and heads out the door. The way the stairs were set up, there was a balcony type of area above the stairs. So, she could see everything happening downstairs from upstairs. Looking below her, she could see Lexa sharing a sandwich with Emori. She could see Jasper and Monty goofing around by the Christmas tree.

She turns and sees Murphy walking up the stairs to her. She freezes instinctively. This wouldn’t be good. “Hey, what are you doing?” he mutters. She shrugs, and turns her eyes back to the people below her. No one seemed to notice Murphy standing beside her. He leans his elbows on the ledge and looks as well.

“So, Lexa?” he asks. She sighs and rolls her eyes. She knew this was long time coming, but it still pissed her off. Now he wanted to talk.

“We aren’t actually going to act like this right? Like everything is fine and normal?” she mutters. He winces internally. It was a fair shot, but it still stung.

“I don’t know, Clarke. I don’t know anything anymore” he whispers. She glances at him, sighs, and nods. “Yeah, neither do I” she murmurs. Her voice sounds calmed, her anger no longer violating her tone. He was thankful for the peace, but also terrified for what that could mean.

“Hey, guys…” Raven says and her voice slowly dies at seeing the two of them side by side. She seemed to read the room and see the tense atmosphere between them. “Yeah, ok… I’m just gonna… yeah” she mumbles and dodges around them to go down the stairs.

“No, Raven. It’s fine. I was just leaving anyways” Clarke interrupts and starts to walk up to her. Before she can go down though, Murphy grabs her arm and stops her in her tracks. “Please, just let me talk to you for a few more seconds” he pleads. She meets his eyes and searches them for any reason to stay. Finally, she sighs and nods.

“Ok. Fine”. She steps away from Raven, who nods and goes down the stairs. Her eyes are wide as she skips down and she lets out a heavy breath. That was… intense.

“Do you even remember why we fought?” he whispers and turns to her. She was no longer looking at him and was watching their friends from below. “Yeah. It was a petty fight that got out of hand quickly. But I still don’t think it’s smart to resolve it” she whispers. Her fingers pinch together, glitter still remaining sprinkled gently over.

“Why not? Princess, you know I love you. And the last thing I want is to spend Christmas away from you” he says, his voice raising. She swings around to him, “You think I don’t want that? I can’t stand this stupid thing we have! It infuriates me to have to stay away from you!” she snaps, the tone of voice also rising in anger.

They can both feel eyes lifting to the both of them in concern, but neither breaks the others eye contact. Not yet.

“You tell him, sis” Jasper shouts and a small chortle comes from Emori, who quickly covers it up for a very rough cough. Clarke rolls her eyes and grabs Murphy’s arm, dragging him to the empty bathroom beside them. Octavia was still in Raven’s room, so this was second best.

“I don’t know anything anymore. I want to be with you every hour of every day! But I can’t because every time I even think of getting close to you, all I can think of is how _ugly_ that fight was. I can’t stand that happening again” she whispers, now aware of their friends who would hear if she had another outburst. The walls weren’t that thin in the small apartment.

“And you don’t think I get a say in that? Clarke, I love you! You know that! I want to be back with you more than should be considered possible. And that’s a lot, coming from me” Murphy snaps back. They meet eyes, his soft and pleading, hers hard as steal with an edge of her anxious side showing.

“I know. Trust me, I know. I’m just stuck right now, in everything. Our relationship feels like quick sand right now and the vine I’m holding onto is breaking” she murmurs. Murphy runs a hand through his hair and sighs. He wished he knew what to say. To make everything better. TO make all of their troubles disappear like _that,_ but he couldn’t. He had to do what he hated most in this entire world, talk it out.

“Clarke, I don’t want to fight. I _hate_ fighting with you. We both always end up apart and sad and it just hurts. I don’t want that. I want to be able to wake up on Christmas morning and feel you beside me. As cheesy as that sounds, I want that with you” he blurts out. Clarke was a little surprised by his bluntness. Behind closed doors, he was always very touchy feely, always telling her that he loved her. But never like this. He never actually _talked_ about it.

Unsure of what to do, she places her lips on his own and hopes it conveys what she feels for him in that moment. She feels love, and comfort, and gratefulness. But she also feels anxious, nervous about trying again. It would be their third get back together since they started their relationship. From the get-go, they were known as the on again off again relationship. But they had always fixed it. It was just how they worked. But not anymore. Clarke didn’t want that anymore, and neither did Murphy.

“You’re it for me, you know? When I think of my future, you’re there, right beside me” she whispers against his lips and he sighs in contempt.

“That sounds alright” he admits and scoops her face up in his hands to kiss her again. The kiss is deeper, not as soft, nor as gentle as the previous kiss before. This one burned with passion and every touch that pressed against their body felt like a shot of another high was flowing into their system. That was the one thing they always got right, touch. Never were they not touching.

She deepens the kiss and grips gently onto the hair that sits on the end of Murphy’s neck. “I love you” she whispers. He hums, pulling away from her lips and kissing from her jawline to the soft spot just below her earlobe that always drove her up the wall.

“I love you” he whispers back and she grips her hands roughly in his matted hair and pulls him back up to her breathless lips. “Say it again” she mouths against his lips, struggling to remove the jacket that hides the shirt beneath. “I love you” he repeats, kissing at a small pulse line on her chest until he’s satisfied with the color. It’s deep enough that only he can see. The small, innocent thought was enough to make Murphy’s heart flip. It was there for _him._ She loved _him._

“Do you?” he mutters and she doesn’t have to ask him to elaborate to know what he means. Was she serious about him the way he wanted to be about her? Did she truly love him, the way he would go to hell and back for her?

“Yes. It’s all or nothing. No escaping me now” Clarke grins and Murphy smirks. “Good”, and he scoops her up in his arms, losing himself in the small bathroom moment they have with one another. Even the setting nor the friends that could without a doubt hear what was now becoming more heated quickly, could ruin his mood. Because Clarke Griffin, the woman he loved, loved him just as much.

~

No one said a word about the fight when Murphy and Clarke went back downstairs.

No one mentioned anything and pretended not to see the subtle way Murphy and Clarke would share wordless exchanges like they once did when they were together.

But everyone knew what had happened upstairs. For god’s sake, they could _hear_ everything. The two had obviously banged out all their issues.

“Are we leaving yet?” Clarke asks, trying her best to subtly pat down her mess of hair that, no doubt, came from her bathroom escapade only minutes ago.

“Yeah, we’re loading up the car with all the children now” Raven smirks, patting Miller’s head when he gasps in offense. “I’ll have you know, I’m older than you Reyes!” he objects, but she just shoves him out the door. Once everyone is out of the house, Murphy gives Clarke a small wink before going out with Emori. She rolls her eyes and goes to grab her phone.

“So, babe, what was that little hash out with Murphy upstairs. You two seem very… civil” Raven edges. Clarke glares at her and scoffs. “Subtle, Raven, subtle” she responds with snark thick in her voice.

Raven shrugs, flicking the lights off behind them as they walk to the door. “I get straight to the point, Griffin. And you’re dodging it. Tell me what happened” she insists.

Clarke bites her lip nervously as she locks the door behind them. The air still chilled as a cool breeze ran through once again. The moon was just starting to rise, replacing the suns spot in the sky for the night.

“Later. Not now” Clarke promises and Raven nods. She sighs and the cold temperature in the air creates a fog in front of her.

“Fine. Shotgun!” she yells to the car and Octavia climbs out of Bellamy’s Jeep with lots of curses trailing Raven.

“Tough” Raven grumbled and climbed into the passenger seat with an ease that only came from multiple trips in the vehicle.

“Scoot over!” Clarke says as she opens the door and gulps nervously when she sees Murphy sitting next to the closest empty seat of the car. Everyone else seemed to notice the obviously well-timed predicament because Jasper hides a smirk behind his hand and Monty slaps Emori’s back when she does her strange laugh-cough again.

“You feeling ok back there, Emori?” Murphy snaps and she nods, waving her hand. “Sorry, the air feels very thick right now. Must be the sexual tension that is radiating off the two of you” she responds with a monotone voice. “Wow, Emori. You really have no filter” Clarke groans and climbs into the car. However, Emori gets no chance to respond, because Bellamy is already pulling out of the driveway.

“Ok, are we going to the lights on Ashland?” Bellamy asks and Clarke nods. “Yeah, they are you usually up the latest. Plus, they have that small snack shack. Remember that, Octavia?” she smiles. Octavia nods, “Oh, yeah. There sugar cookies were the best” she agrees.

Bellamy groans, “Yeah, I’m sure. You sugar-highed for an hour and a half after those three years straight” he complains. A small smirk comes to Octavia’s face at the memory. Their mother had been working late that night, so Clarke was over and she and her both were having a sugar fest for the night. It had backfired terribly. Octavia had ended up sick the next day and the sugar crash was a mega bitch.

“Still worth it” she grins and Clarke smiles at her. “Totally”.

They drive in peace, the kind of atmosphere that makes it truly feel like Christmas. As the talking and conversation continues, Clarke jolts slightly when she feels a warm hand intertwine their fingers with hers. She glances over at Murphy to see he was casually talking to Monty like nothing had happened. He glances at her and she meets his stare. He gives her a small wink and a smirk before turning back to Monty. She rolls her eyes and looks out her window, but she doesn’t remove his hand from her own.

“Look! There’s the lights” Lexa nudges Clarke from the back and she looks to where Lexa points. Sure enough, bright lights shone just above the pitch-black trees about a mile away. “Not much of a line either” Jasper mutters, pressing his face against the window.

They pull into the neighborhood and the first thing Octavia sees is the snack shack that they always occupied at this time of year. At the small picnic tables that waited for them, they would see their initials carved into the second one on the left. And beside Murphy’s, Clarkes initials would be right there as well, forever carved together until eventually the tables were thrown away for junk.

“Come on, let’s go!” Octavia squeals and jumps out of Lincoln’s lap to shove open her door to run across the street. “Octavia!” Bellamy groans, but Clarke just laughs. “Oh, what the hell” she simply states and jumps out of the car as well, momentarily forgetting that her fingers were intertwined with Murphy’s.

She runs across the street with Octavia, Murphy in tow behind her until they reach the picnic table. The rest of the group was close behind, Bellamy pulling his Jeep into the small patch of grass next to the shack.

  
“Look at that, they haven’t trashed us yet.” Raven cheers, waving to the guy that owned the place, Shaw.

Nobody thought to mention the fact that Murphy and Clarke still had their hands connected, though everyone could clearly see it.

“I’m going to go get cocoa” she calls out and Jasper gasps, “I want some!” he shouts dramatically. Clarke nods and gestures for Jasper to come along. They go to the shack, with Clarke’s hand still in Murphy’s.

Now everyone has definitely seen it and they all try their best to hide their amusement and bewilderment. Raven hides her face in Bellamy’s shoulder and stifles a loud laugh. Lexa and Emori look along with knowing looks and proud smirks. Octavia was running up to them for cocoa as well.

“Either they think they are very, _very_ smooth, or they just don’t give two fucks anymore” Bellamy sums up. Raven nods and lays her chin on Bellamy’s shoulder, watching the lights blink along the trees and roofs.

“I love Christmas” she whispers. Bellamy nods. He did too.

~

Clarke sits atop of the picnic table, a single leg dangling from the edge and another bent beneath. Her cocoa warmed her hands and the smell warmed her body. Octavia scoots beside her and cheers her drink against Clarke’s. “Cheers” she smiles and takes a long sip before sighing with satisfaction.

Murphy walks away from the stand with a beer and sits beside Clarke. No one says a single word about that either. In fact, no one dared to even question the sudden closeness the two had after their bathroom fight. Maybe it was because they knew exactly how they made up.

  
“No cocoa? Ok, scrooge” Octavia scoffs and Murphy shakes his head. “Nope. Gotta get drunk fast so Santa will fly down the chimney real quick” he chuckles and takes a gulp from his bottle.

“That’s cute. We all know you’re getting coal this year” Clarke laughs. Murphy gasps in false offence. He nudges his own foot against her own, “I am not. I am proud to tell you that I have been very good this year” he taunts, curling a whisp of Clarke’s golden hair in his finger. Octavia eyes the two’s not so subtle flirting with rolled eyes. These two could not be bigger idiots. Or the smartest people on the planet, for getting back together.

“If you love bugs are done, we want to go see the lights!” Jasper shouts and Raven laughs at Clarke’s bright red face.

“Shut it, Jasper!” she yells back and jumps off the picnic table.

Murphy and Octavia follow behind, Lincoln being dragged along as well.

They walked for a long while, until eventually Jasper started to complain about the cold and Murphy said he needed a drink. To no one’s surprise, Clarke managed to get him to shut up.

The night was easy and their perfect kind of chaos, just as they liked it. It was _their_ chaos. The delinquents.

When they got back to the house, the first thing they do is put Home Alone on. It was about a third of the way through already, but they watched it nonetheless. Octavia jumps onto the couch and sighs as Lincoln throws a blanket over her shivering body. He sits beside her and rolls his eyes, a smile on his face, when she curls up into his body.

Clarke and Raven sit in the love chair together, sharing the large dark purple blanket together. “No room for me, ladies?” Murphy smirks, walking into the living room. Clarke snorts and shakes her head. “Nope. Just me and Raven Reyes” she taunts, laying her head on Raven’s shoulder.

“Aw, Clarke. I’m flattered” she brags and sticks her tongue out at Murphy before laying her head on top of Clarke’s.

Murphy scoffs and turns away, going to share the larger couch with Jasper and Emori. Jokes on Raven, Murphy would get Clarke for the rest of his life.

It was around the time that Kevin was setting up all his traps when Murphy noticed that the majority of their group were already asleep. Clarke and Raven were both falling against one another, still sharing the single blanket. Octavia was sound asleep, cuddling against Lincoln who was also out. Lexa had left before the movie, she said her girlfriend, Costia, was getting back in town tonight from a work trip. She didn’t want to miss her landing.

“Bloody hell” he mutters and pulls Jasper’s arm off of him to climb off the couch. Emori groans and blinks awake at his quick movement. “Want a drink?” he asks and she laughs hoarsely, but nods nonetheless and lets him help her up.

They go to the kitchen and Murphy grabs two beers from the fridge. He hands it to her and she smiles in thanks. “So, I’m just going to cut straight to the chase. I’m too tired for bullshit and it’s Christmas Eve. I know you and Clarke banged in the bathroom. Everyone does” Emori yawns and Murphy chokes on his beer. He sets it down slowly, frowning at Emori.

“I’m sorry… could you repeat that please?” he mutters. Emori shakes her head, “You heard me, John”.

He squeezes his eyes shut tight, then opens them again. He silently wished right then that he had fallen asleep like everybody else. “You two weren’t very secretive about it. You were even holding hands like before all around the lights” Emori explains, taking another drink out of her bottle.

“Yeah, yeah. And everybody knows?” He asks and watches the snow hit the ground outside the window.

“Yup” she says, popping the P at the end.

“Ok, then. I’m going to sleep now” he groans and throws out the half-emptied bottle of liquor. His craving for alcohol had suddenly been quenched after the conversation with Emori.

She doesn’t say anything as he walks away back into the living room and grabs a blanket off the recliner that Bellamy was on. She didn’t say anything as he climbed onto the couch once again, grumbling in frustration as Jasper accidentally slapped him in his sleep. And she didn’t say anything once again, right before she fell asleep maybe an hour later, when Clarke gently woke up Murphy from his slumber.

When Clarke woke up, the first thing she felt was Raven’s body leaning against her own. The warmth they shared was being conserved underneath the warm purple blanket over them. The movie was now over and some Hallmark movie was playing now. The next thing she sees is her watch, shining brightly in the dark room. It was 11:54 at night.

Almost impulsively, not truly caring what could happen, Clarke climbs out of the blanket and quickly helps Raven readjust before walking silently over to Murphy. She gently shakes him and checks her watch again. A minute had passed. 5 more until it was officially Christmas Day. She shakes him again and he groans, “I’m going to punch whoever’s waking me up”. She laughs softly and shakes her head, “Murphy, it’s me. Wake up” she whispers and watches his eyes slowly adjust to the darkness and grin when he sees her. “Hey, Princess” he whispers and she smiles.

“Hey. Come on, it’s almost time” she murmurs and pulls him up. Slowly, he stands and yawns. “Time for what?” he groans, stretching his limbs. She just grabs his hand and pulls him to the backyard.

“Holy shit, it’s freezing out here, Clarke!” he whisper-shouts. She just rolls her eyes and checks her watch.

2 more minutes.

“2 more minutes until it’s Christmas, Murphy” she says, her teeth chattering at the cold. She could feel small snowflakes landing on her body and on her hair, but at that moment she didn’t truly care.

“Yeah? Ok. Got any Christmas wishes? Santa will be here soon” he grins and she laughs silently. “You’re funny. But fine, I’ll humor you. Yes, I do. I want you to kiss me, at midnight. Take one from the books of those cheesy Hallmark films” she grins when he rolls his eyes.

“Of course, that’s your Christmas wish. But fine, for you I’ll deal” he gives and she laughs again. Her teeth were chattering, so she presses her head against his chest. She could feel his heart beating against his ear.

1 more minute.

“I love you, Clarke Griffin” he whispers to the night. She smiles at his words. Even hearing him say it another thousand times wouldn’t seize the butterflies that shot through her chest. “I love you too” she responds.

30 more seconds.

Clarke never wanted to move from this spot, right there, ever again. She just wanted to live in this moment for the rest of her life. Though, Christmas does do that to you.

Her watch rings, signaling the new day. She grins up at Murphy who was already watching her, “Merry Christmas, John Murphy” and kisses him. He doesn’t waste any time contemplating and kisses her back. And they both knew, then, that it made the cold worth it.

Clarke feels him smile against her lips, “And a happy new year!”.

She groans at the thought of what their previous year consisted of. “It better!”.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me how you feel about it in the comments and you can find me on [Tumblr](https://pirate-rea.tumblr.com/).


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